I've been learning a lot about myself over the past few months. The most notable thing is that I need transitions. Let me be more specific: I need more time to adjust to new situations than the average person. Last semester, the dental school had us on a miserable half class half clinic schedule. Looking back, I don't think I ever got that down very well even after months of it. Over Christmas break I spent extra time at home, effectively pushing my return to the school routine back a few days. Combine that with my inherent laziness and it's a recipe for disaster. I still have a pile of 'stuff' that needs to put away. Most of it was emptied from my backpack before I traveled home for break. This clutter is a pretty good representation of how I feel about my life right now. There's a big pile of junk that I trip over every day as I try to get the meaningful things accomplished. I'm trying to prioritize as best I can. Clinical responsibilities are always at the forefront of my thoughts, even during hours I'm supposed to be enjoying my sleep. I worry about patients, their pending treatments, what I'm going to tell the one that doesn't know about the misplaced dental implant (not my fault!), and what's going to happen the next time some of my charts are audited. I'm on an extremely regular schedule, more-so than any other point in time. I suppose it'll be that way for the rest of my life, though that doesn't trouble me. This semester I theoretically could be in clinic all of the time except tuesday mornings, when we have class. In practice, it's relatively difficult to book enough chairs to max out on clinic time. There's a fine line between keeping busy enough not to feel like you are behind the pace and being so busy that you are stressed out, running only on coffee, as you run from clinic to clinic. Somehow, I manage to feel both of those ways every single day. On the bright side, at only a month into this semester, I seem to be in a pretty good groove. Perhaps it's too early to call it a groove, but I'm hopeful I have truly found some footing. I need the stability.
Sorry for the wall of text. I needed some therapy. You know what else would be therapeutic? Hearing from some of my favorite people! Leave a comment below, please.