Things I've Learned in Four Years of College

This list is by no means comprehensive, and I hope to keep adding to it. I hope you find it enlightening!

1. Googling your professors can sometimes yield scary results.

2. Construction on the Marriott Library will never, ever be finished.

3. The second class of the day is always the easiest one to fall asleep in.

4. Three slices of the Mountain of Meat pizza from The Pi will make you sick. There is just no getting around it...

5. The best time to get a spot in the stadium parking lot is at 9:32 am.

6. You can paint a wall with a hammer, but it will take you a long time, and it will look like crap.

7. Always park close to a light post so you can easily find your car. (When this fails, keyless entry can be of help, but you have to walk up and down the lanes. If that doesn't work, start smacking the panic button for all you are worth.)

8. Physical chemistry is of the devil, and Schrödinger was possessed.

9. Boogers are a fact of life.

10. A textbook will always be required if the professor wrote it.

11. If your professor wrote your textbook, get on amazon and buy a different one.

12. Carbon only makes four bonds, but a Texas Carbon is special and can make five...

13. If at all possible, don't use any of the restrooms in any of the physics buildings, as it must be department policy to never flush.

14. Math is easy when there are more letters than numbers. When there are more Greek letters than Roman letters it starts not being so much fun. You can completely ignore anything that comes past delta, except maybe pie.

15. To keep the universe balanced, any professors that you enjoy during class lecture time you will hate outside of class when doing homework and during exams.